Special Episode – Wells Thompson from Soccer Resilience
On today’s episode, I speak with Wells Thompson from Soccer Resilience. We talk about his unique path to college and professional soccer. We also discuss how important the mental part of the game is for players of all ages. Learn more about Wells Thompson from Soccer Resilience.
Matt: [00:00:00] Hi everybody. Welcome to Discover College Soccer. Today I’m lucky enough to be joined by, well, not, not a college coach, but somebody who had a great college and pro career. Wells Thompson. Welcome Wells.
Wells: Thanks Matt. Blessing, honor, joy to be here with you today. Wow. We made it happen, man.
Matt: Yes, we did. Glad to have you.
Um, you know, it’s, uh, I like to do these non-college coach interviews whenever I can on stuff that I think will be helpful to folks. And, you know, you had a, a great. A great career and are doing even more great things after your, your soccer career, but in the soccer world. And I think what, what you we’re working on and what you guys are doing is, is stuff that people wanna hear about.
So, uh, but, but before we get into that, uh, let’s, let’s go back to, to the old soccer career. You’re, you’re lucky enough to be a little bit younger than me, but, uh, you know, how, how did your. Soccer evolution gets you from, from a high school age player to college and into the pros. Kind of tell me about your college soccer recruiting experience.
Wells: Yeah, so as a, a small side note here, I, I’m a former college coach, actually.
Matt: Oh, okay. Well, there you go.
Wells: Yeah. College coach, I, my fault lot experience there. I actually coached, uh, with Kelly Finley. I was a little bit of a volunteer assistant for NC State a couple years. Okay. Okay. Alright, that was fun. Big shout out to Kelly Finley.
Um, my college recruiting experience is very different than most people. Um, I played on the national team ever since I was in diapers. [00:01:30] I’m kidding. Ha. Joke. Um, Drugs and alcohol is a big part of my life. And so, um, picture this, um, I spent from 16 and a half to 18 years old in a quote unquote lockdown facility in upstate New York.
So, um, yeah, I’m a, I was a rebellious child and got into drugs and alcohol at a very young age, 11, 12 years old. Oof. By the time I was 16 years old, um, I was literally gonna end up dead or in jail if my parents didn’t intervene. Thank god that my parents did intervene and they had the resources to do so.
’cause it wasn’t, it wasn’t, it’s hard and, and it is expensive. Um, I. I was actually living at my best friend’s, uh, grandma’s two story condo. I’d run away from home. I’d stop going to school. Uh, interestingly enough, the, my parents will tell you that the straw that broke the camel’s back, um, for them to decide to do something with me was when I said I wanted to stop playing soccer.
I. I love soccer. I was good at it. God had gifted me. Um, and so they knew something was off. Um, they, I just turned 16 and my parents got ahold of me somehow and they said, uh, Wells, if you come home, we’ll take you to get your license. And so I thought Freedom, yes, I was 16 I my license, this will tell you a little bit how far off I was because I wasn’t gonna have a car.
I was just gonna have a license, you know, so like, uh, I wasn’t really thinking clearly. I came home that night. My dad came in, uh, he said, we love you, son. We’re you’re gonna go away for a little [00:03:00] while. I cussed at him. That’s, uh, how far off I was. I said, get in my room. I’m trying to sleep. Uh, next thing I know, two big guys came in and they said, you need to get it up.
You’re coming with us. Um, I said, do you know who I am? I’m kidding. I’m kidding. But I did try to fight them. Uh, they won, they handcuffed me. They put clothes on me, they walked me down, my front stoop put me in the back of a blacked out 10 Tahoe. I grew up in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and this is the winter, and it was December, January, and they proceeded to drive me 12 and a half hours up to the middle of the Casco Mountains in New York.
Um, so Matt, how many college coaches do you think were recruiting me? Not that many. Zero. I was just trying to get my life back on track. I learned pretty quickly that uh, if I did o obey and behave and follow the rules, I could get out quicker. My parents knew I still love soccer. Um, I actually did play soccer when I was up there.
I was a school rehab facility, uh, but nobody was recruiting me, right. I stayed the minimum stay of 18 months. I came home, uh, back to Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I repeated my senior year, um, actually when I repeated my senior year, I shattered my collarbone in seven places. And so, um, by the grace of God, didn’t have to have surgery, was able to heal way quicker.
Um, I, I knew Bobby Muse at Wake Forest and so he was a, a youth coach of mine growing up. And I grew up in Winston-Salem, which is, you know, where Wake Forest University is. Uh, I had some offers from some smaller schools, but decided that the best fit for me was to go to Wake Forest. Um, and thank God I did.[00:04:30]
It’s, uh, it’s funny because like Wake is a very, uh, prestigious school, uh, academically and, uh, soccer wise and, um, so they were recruiting guys that, like I said earlier, was kidding about like, uh, Played on the youth national team since they were in diapers, you know, and I was just kind of this hometown scrub, like no one really expected anything of me.
And, uh, when I was drafted fifth overall, four years later, the coaches looked at me and said, Wells, we thought you’d never play a day. And so, you know, hindsight’s 2020, right? Um, it’s, it’s the gift of growing up and being able to look back a little bit. But all that crap, all that struggle that I went through as a kid actually really prepared me for when I went to Wake.
And I saw the reverse of that. A lot of people that didn’t really struggle like I did, came to wake and didn’t really know how to deal with it. And just to backtrack a little bit and give people encouragement is like I. I mean, I remember for years as a young kid trying out for O D P and it’s not like I didn’t even make it.
It’s like I didn’t even get close to making it. And so I remember getting those letters in the mail and crying and, and being upset. Um, but I also remember, uh, my parents supporting me. I remember going back to try out the next year. And so I just look back at those times and realize that like God was using those things in my life to prepare me for something greater.
Matt: Well, and, and it, and it certainly did. I mean, you had an amazing professional career and now you, uh, you founded a company that I think has the perfect word in it, and that’s resilience. Uh, based on that story, [00:06:00] uh, you know, so you’re, you’re the founder and c e o of soccer resilience. So, so what is, what is that, what are you doing now?
What is soccer resilience?
Wells: Yeah, so I, I, I’ll, I’ll get to that. Really, our mission is to elevate the, the soccer community through elite mental fitness coaching. So everybody knows what physical fitness is. Mental fitness is the same thing, training your brain. Um, you know, I thought as a, as a pro athlete. Um, real quick, Matt, I just question for you.
Sure. Uh, we ask everyone this, no right or wrong answer. If you could put a number on it, zero to a hundred. What percentage do you think, uh, the sport and life is mental? What percentage of it?
Matt: Oh, well, I now, with my advanced, uh, age and, and experience, uh, I, I, I, I put that I. I put that number probably at, at 75.
Wells: It’s a, it’s a big number, right? Yeah. And the question is not to actually figure out what the actual number is, it’s just to identify like, man, it’s a big number. Yeah. And so 1% is something that we all throw around, especially in like elite performance. Like what if we get 1% better? What if you get 50% better?
What if you get 20% better? What if you get 5% better? You know? And so this is somewhat of a new evolution, you know, we got. Started in 2020 with Covid and Tokyo Olympics was going on. And Michael Phelps and Simone Biles. Naomi Osaka. And so for me, soccer resilience is going, I’m a pro athlete. I didn’t, I didn’t intentionally, uh, uh, uh, practice any of this stuff, right?
We didn’t have sports psychologists. As a matter of fact, now a lot of N M S teams still don’t, right? And so we’re [00:07:30] going, oh my God, you believe it’s 70% of performance in life and you’re not doing anything to train it? And so, uh, you know, I. I, I, as a pro, I thought it was sitting in a circle, burning incense, humming while you listen to melodic music.
Like pie in the sky, like, right. Like it’s what does that mean for me? Right. Um, it’s interesting, I have a journal entry in my last year when I was playing for Chicago Fire in the league. It was my worst year in the league, and it was September, which means the season was winding down. I don’t think we were making the playoffs.
And my general entry goes, I really need to go see a sports psychologist. I’m so tired of walking out in the field, being scared to make a mistake and playing to not make a mistake. I hope I do it. I didn’t do it. And so soccer resi resilience for me is turning my pain into purpose. The biggest regret of my career is that I didn’t do anything to train my brain.
And so I really struggled as I had a good career. Matt, and I appreciate you saying I had a good career. Man, that’s actually really tough for me to say sometimes because I often look back on my career and I go, I, I failed. I failed. I didn’t do what I wanted to do. Man, there was so much more there. Right?
And I really see that like, man, I was an elite athlete. I was highly trained and highly skilled. I knew how to freaking play the game. What’s the difference when, so what happened when I stepped onto the soccer field at times, I. My mind got in the way. Right? And so what we like to say, what I like to say, it’s not this really neat, tidy thing where you take your brain outta your head and hook it up to electrodes and train it.
It. We are one being mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. And [00:09:00] when we are training ourselves, we’re training all facets of that. So when college coaches are doing the beat test, or, or, or, or suicides with their players, They’re physically training them, but they’re also mentally training them, right?
It’s a symbiotic relationship. And so awareness is a huge part of this. Most people really don’t think about it. Uh, pros aren’t robots. The pressure is just intensified and multiplied. And so, man, I wish I could go back. I wish I would’ve not only been a better player. Man, I would’ve enjoyed the game more, right?
Like, I would’ve cherished, I mean, me and you were just chit-chatting before we got on. Like, you asked me if I was still playing. I, I, that was kind of cool. I hadn’t had a question in a long time. You know, it’s like, I wish I was because I, I just wanna go back and like, enjoy the game. I wanna enjoy, like lacing my cleats up.
I wanna enjoy like, smelling the grass. I wanna enjoy like getting my. Buck kicked by one of my teammates. Like, ’cause that’s what it’s about, man. You know? And those are the days that I reflect on as a, as a former pro athlete who’s won an M l S cup, who’s been drafted, who’s done a lot of really, really cool things.
It’s the things I miss are the people, right? It’s the things I miss are the actual game. It’s not like I tell people this all the time. Matt and I, and I know I’m going on a tangent here, but like, If I could be a pro athlete for one more day, Matt, I wouldn’t even wanna play man. I’d wanna sit on the bench or sit in the stands and cheer as hard as I possibly could for my teammates.
’cause I never did that. It was just about me and it was just about what I can accomplish. And I don’t mean that like I, I was a good teammate, I [00:10:30] was a good friend, but like, What drove me was, um, you know, what hindered me a lot of times was my brain was, my mind was, and I’m learning these things, right? And so the, the way that we got started was Dr.
Brad Miller, who also played at Wake Forest, who’s been a clinical psychologist for 20 years, right? Like he, he, he had performance anxiety at Wake, so he became a clinical psychologist. The past 20 years he’s been working with kids and families and parents, and, and a lot of this is just, man, 80% of our thoughts are negative.
I. How do we have a positive life? How do we play positively? How do we take risks? How do we have courage if our thoughts are negative? Right? But the good news is in this somewhat of a recent discovery, six past 50, 60 years, we can train our brains. We can change our brains, we can rewire them to focus on the good right, to focus on the process, uh, to not be hindered by self-doubt and mental barriers.
Matt: Yeah, well, I mean, I was, I was lucky enough to, uh, I think we talked about this a while back, but I was lucky enough to, to watch you play in, in preseason one year when, when I was at I M G and then the fire came up, uh, you know, during your time there and, and one of the things that was really cool about I M G Academy and my experience there was the fact that, that they have mental conditioning as part of their overall program.
And when I started there, it was like, wow, this is. This is something that sets them apart. Yeah, they got great facilities and good coaching, but there’s a lot of places with great facilities and great coaching. But, but hammering on on that mental side. At a young age can really help. And, and then a lot of those people went on, A lot of the [00:12:00] mental conditioning staff I know went on and one of ’em works for the, the Tampa Bay Rays.
Right. Who, who’s been doing great making playoffs and, and stuff and went to the people who went to the Cubs and, and all these other pro teams. And, and, and it’s, it’s, it’s kind of a bummer that the, you know, m l s teams don’t have ’em all yet. Uh, but, but you know, when you get down into youth sports, right.
Um, And, and I see it a lot with my, my daughter’s team, right? The, the teenage girls man. Talk about a group that doesn’t wanna be the one responsible for making a mistake and, and letting their team down, you know, teenage girls. That’s, that is there all the time. And, you know, coaches talk about the four pillars, right?
The physical, technical, tactical, mental. So, you know, we talk about how important that mental size, but why do you think it, it isn’t given as much weight? As those other three parts, especially when it comes to youth coaching and youth sports.
Wells: Yeah, we just completed our first course, like an online course.
It’s really awesome. Check it out. Soccer resilience.com. But the thing that we’re getting feedback from people is like, well, it’s not, it’s not nice and tidy. Like it doesn’t, it’s not neat. Right? And we’re like, that’s freaking life. Like life. You don’t know when you’re gonna shatter your collarbone. You don’t know when a ball’s gonna hit you in the head and you’re gonna have a concussion and never gonna be able to play for a year, right?
Like the constant of life is crap and stress and struggle, and the person that’s able to bounce back quicker and overcome those things is the one that’s gonna do better in life and also have [00:13:30] more joy and fulfillment. The more that I do this, Matt, I hate it’s, I don’t hate the word mental, I just don’t like talking about it like that because really it we are, we are, again, one being, and a lot, like I say, I didn’t train my brain growing up.
I did. I was doing things. I wasn’t necessarily aware of them. Really. At the end of the day, it’s about growth, right? It’s about awareness. It’s about understanding that like, Man, if I focus on the present moment, that allows me to not be held back by my failures in the past, that allows me to not be held back by my worries and fears in the future.
Right? And so really just understanding about growing and getting better, I, I think that, I don’t know what like. You know, it’s funny because I didn’t do anything to train my brain as a nine year pro athlete. So you are like, come on, Wells. Like you, what do you expect from people? But it’s really interesting with this day and age is like everyone does it.
Like Aaron Judge has his own breathing coach, like just a breathing coach. Not even like a mental performance coach, just a breathing coach, you know? And so, Um, you know, LeBron James talks about a growth mindset. LeBron James, maybe the second greatest player in the world to ever play the game, and he still thinks that he can get better.
I’m like, that is amazing. You know what I mean? Um, I think that it’s, I go to therapy every week. I like, it’s, it’s a lifesaver for me. Uh, I think it, we, there is no such thing as a self-made man or woman. We need each other, right? Because life is difficult. It is so hard, right? But [00:15:00] I still, it is hard at times to go.
Man, I’m struggling mentally. Like, you know, with physically it’s, man, I broke my arm. I can see it. It’s there. Right? Mentally it’s, and, and one of the things it’s, we’re, we’re all unique, right? So it’s not like, Hey Matt, me and you can go run suicides for a month and we can get pretty fit man. Right? But like, we’re different.
Maybe, uh, mentally or emotionally or psychologically. I really like affirmations. I wake up every day and I’m like, I am loved. I’m kind. Right? And you’re like, that’s the stupidest thing in the world. I would never do that. And so really it’s like, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a unique journey for all of us. There is no one size fits all, and it’s not this nice t uh, uh, tidy thing that goes here, take this prescription.
10 steps to elite mental fitness or 10 steps. To peace in, in, in, in life and 10 steps to like, life is freaking hard, right? And so, um, we, we really tried to, at soccer resilience, marry this sexy like pro athlete, which is where we have our ambassadors who are current pros at N W S O and M L s and u s O with the really somewhat unsexy science of like, look, our brains are wired for survival, not success.
That’s why we sometimes we self-sabotage, right? That’s why when we walk on the field, we’re scared of like, Of giving the ball away, you know, and so understanding that really allows us to go, okay, I understand this now. What can I do to create that freedom on the field? How can I get back to playing free?
[00:16:30] And having fun at the end of the day. That’s, it’s a game, right? Like this, you see the same sets I do, especially in youth soccer. 5% of youth athletes playing college, 5%. So what are we doing with the 95%? And Nelson Mandela stole my quote, sport is the greatest opportunity to change the world. And so really that’s, that’s, that’s our heart, that’s our purpose.
That’s what we’re trying to operate off of. Um, and like everything in life, it’s so easy to talk about. It’s so difficult to execute. For sure.
Matt: Well, you know, as much as I, I hope that, uh, high school aged players are, are listening to my podcast and learning about different college programs, I’m, I’m guessing it’s mostly parents and, and other coaches and, and people that, that, that tend to listen and, and, you know, give those nuggets to their kids, uh, or players.
So, uh, assuming that it’s mostly coaches and parents that are listening right now, you know, Can you gimme just one or two, uh, ideas, tips, tricks, exercises, something, uh, that you think will help parents and coaches with when it comes to, to helping the mental side of the game of, of their, their, their kids or their players?
Wells: There’s two things that really come to mind. The more that I do this, the more I go back to ’em, it’s process and present. The more that you can focus on the process which is growing and improvement and proving, the better you’ll be. Right. Our brains want to predict, our brains want to analyze, and they’re always doing that.
Right, which takes us out of the present [00:18:00] moment and creates worry and creates doubt and creates anxiety. Like my path to going to Wake Forest, to going to play professionally is unique, but a lot of people, like there is no one true tried way to, to, to go pro, right? Or to go to the the college of your dreams, right?
Like, I never thought I’d play at Wake. Right. And there was a lot of people that I ran into as a, as a pro athlete that went to really small colleges, went to JUCO colleges. Right. Had amazing careers, you know, so, uh, it’s really focusing on the present and the process. The present is so important. Right.
Again, ’cause I said earlier, I. Takes you out of the past and out of the future, right? Which creates that anxiety and worry. Uh, and, and our brains are always wondering and thinking about those things, right? Um, because it’s worried about our survival. And then focusing on the process of growing, right? Not performance.
Not winning and losing. Yes, you wanna win and you play the game to win, but not winning and losing, not when I’m starting, but hey, when I wake up today, am I getting better than I was yesterday? And again, present process, right? Carol Direct wrote a book called Mindset, which is amazing. Really the foundation of all that I’m talking about is growth mindset, right?
With hard work and strategies, we can all grow and improve in whatever we do, right? But we tend to bounce back between fixed and growth mindsets. Uh, the last thing I’ll go to here is gratitude. Um, our brains are wired for the negative, so focusing on the positive, right? And can only be in one place at one time and focus on one emotion at once.
So gratitude, right? Um, just being thankful, acknowledging those things, [00:19:30] expressing those things to other people. Uh, and I’m gonna keep going here. Last thing is, um, Is, is service is getting out of yourself, right? Is is, uh, supporting a teammate, encouraging them, looking for opportunities to get out of yourself, right?
We think of mental and it’s, and sitting in a dark room, and it’s all me, me, by myself, and you go, no. The number one key to resilience is relationships. Surround yourselves with good people, love them really well. Uh, and, and, and they’ll encourage you and love you really well, and that’s how you, uh, enjoy life and, uh, improve and get better and, uh, do really, really cool things.
Matt: Oh, amazing. Well, Wells, I really appreciate it. I think, uh, uh, I think sharing your story is, is fantastic and really, you know, gives people perspective different way, d different ways to, to get places and that you can overcome and, and resilience is a key component of that. So where can people find more about you, about soccer, resilience, and the mental side of the game?
Wells: Soccer resilience.com. We’re on all the social, uh, channels, but check us out on our website. We’ve just re-up re-upped. We’ve updated our website. We’ve got free resource resources on there. Uh, we just launched, uh, our Elite Mental Fitness Essentials Players course and coaches course, so check those out.
Really, really awesome stuff. Our pro ambassadors are in those teaching and guiding and so yeah, Soccer resilience.com.
Matt: Awesome. Well, Wells, I really appreciate it. Thank you. Wish you guys the best of luck and uh, if you ever get back down to Bradenton for anything, gimme a shout. All right?
Wells: Yes, sir. Thanks Matt.
You rock. Thanks for having me. Take [00:21:00] care.
