Special Episode – Hear From a Parent About His Son’s Journey

In this special episode, I talk to Buford Mobley, a father who’s son played in a large soccer club in North Carolina. We talk about his son’s journey between clubs, between teams, and how he ultimately looked a which colleges he wanted to attend. The final result may surprise you.

[00:00:00] Matt: Hi, everybody. Welcome to discover college soccer today. We’re going to take a little bit of a different path than we normally do, uh, but I’m lucky enough today to be joined by Buford Mobley out of Raleigh, North Carolina. Welcome. Thank you. So, uh, Buford is part of a Facebook group called the soccer parent lifestyle.

[00:00:19] And, and in it, he had posted about the journey that his son took, uh, being part of a very large club over 14,000 players. And now he kinda took a. Th the pathway as is, which is the hot topic, a term everybody’s using these days, the player pathway, um, about getting from, from being a youth player, uh, up through college.

[00:00:42] So, uh, thought it would be great to have Buford on and kind of just discuss what his personal family experience was like in that pathway. Uh, and, and hopefully that’ll resonate with, with some of our, uh, our folks and maybe help some others and, and, and get some insights that they didn’t even know. Didn’t even know.

[00:00:59] So, uh, so Buford let’s, let’s just talk a little bit about it, you know, w when did your son start playing? When did you kind of start the travel soccer parents experience, uh, for you guys?

[00:01:11] Buford: Okay. Well, just to give you a little background, um, I never played soccer as a kid. Um, never went to a soccer game till I got to school at Clemson university that has the first soccer game that I ever went to.

[00:01:23] But, um, When, um, my son started playing rec at probably five, maybe about five years old. And, um, he played rec up until you ain’t.

[00:01:41] Matt: Yeah. That’s about the that’s about when the first travel kind of get, get gets kicked off at most places around that UAE timeframe. That’s my, my youngest is in that right now.

[00:01:49] So that makes sense. Well,

[00:01:51] Buford: one of the things that’s unique about North Carolina, they actually have like, they have recreation and then they have a middle step called challenge where, where you don’t really have travel ball. Um, you just play. Amongst people in, in your town. Okay. And, um, of course, uh, we played a castle, which at the time was 11,000 kids.

[00:02:18] So we had enough kids to have basically our own league. So it was playing within, you know, our kids within, within our club. So, um, but it was competitive. So, you know, we, we kept score and, and, and, you know, You know, it kept up who was champions and all that kind of stuff, but there was no travel involved.

[00:02:42] So that’s kind of an intermediate step, which I thought was pretty cool. And then at the next level you had classic, which is where you get into your travel ball, where you go out and travel. So, um, Dante play challenge up until you 11 and, um, You know, if I had to do it over again, he probably would’ve started playing classic a year earlier than he did.

[00:03:09] I believe at the time you 10 was the first year you could, you were eligible to play classic, but, um, core side back then, I didn’t know about body. Any of that stuff. I just kinda went with the flow. Um, And, um, so he played challenge up until the U 11, everything was going great. And then you 12, he went in and went to trial for classic, and that’s when the fun began, uh, um, the classic trials for four days.

[00:03:47] So Monday through Thursday and it was like at four o’clock. And I don’t know if you know anything about the Raleigh Durham area, but at four o’clock is not the time to be out, trying to get kids around. And, um, we actually live in Kerry and the trials were in north Raleigh and at the time my wife was working out at research triangle park and I worked in north rock.

[00:04:14] And my son went to school, downtown Raleigh. So we were all over the place. But anyway, we got in there and, um, there were about 85 kids out there. And, you know, after the four days I, I came home, I said, it’s in the bag. You know, it’s just matter of which team they put him on and we got the call and they say he didn’t make it.

[00:04:39] And honestly, I would, I was absolutely sure. But, um, after I found out later that they only had five spots open for those 85 kids. And of course at a club like castle, which is now NCFC, they pretty much know who, you know, they only had got five spots. They knew that the fire kids before they went out there.

[00:05:07] So, you know, Me being a rookie and, and not knowing any better, you know, I blew up, I just said, I’m not dealing with this. So we moved to a club called triangle football club, which was, um, another club. He here in Kerry and we loved it. Um, Now, you know, when we first moved over there, because in North Carolina, everybody does trouts the same day, the same time.

[00:05:38] And I, I, I understand why they do that, but, um, Dante had to go through supplemental trial. So he was automatically put on the bottom team, which I was fine with. You know, we were the newcomers, but on the bottom team and, um, That first season, his team went one in 12 and they won one game by forfeit. And, um, I think at the time they were playing 99 and you know, a lot of people say, well, that had to be awful.

[00:06:16] It wasn’t fun, but it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to my son. I mean, he learned so many lessons. He learned. You know how to play hard. Uh, he learned that he had to be in shape because they had nine net. They played nine B nine. And I think he had 10 kids on the roster and played most games with eight kids.

[00:06:38] So they played most games man down. So, you know, he never came out. Um, he got used to playing hard till the final whistle and of course he got used to, to, um, adversity. So. It turned out to be a great season for them. Um, we went in that spring season, same team. They did, they didn’t look better. They improved their record.

[00:07:03] So the next year, you know, they have trouts and he gets put on the top team. So we go from the absolute bottom chain, which I think TLC had had about six teams per age, group bedtime. So he was like from team number six to. Top team. So, um, and that was the first year they went full field. So know that was an adjustment.

[00:07:31] And, um, they played in what’s called, I guess now the premier division that they have so many divisions made, they change every year, but, um, they S they went to a tournament before, before that season started. And. And play the defending state champions, state cup champions. And I think they got beat like 13 or nothing,

[00:08:02] but, um, you know, they, they hung in there and they got better and better and better than, you know, they had a real good coach out. I thought he was good coaching. They got better and better and better and better. And, um, so the make a long story short at the end of that year. Um, we get an invite for the development academy, so I’ve thought, okay, here we go.

[00:08:27] We’re on our way. A week later, we get notification that TFC and castle emerging to form NCFC. So, um, you know, learned a big lesson. There is, I’m so glad that I didn’t. Blow up when we left castle. You know, I, cause I mean, if I’d have told you exactly where I felt and what I felt about them, Dante probably could have never shown, shown the space on the field there.

[00:09:03] But, um, you know, there’s a lesson, you know, always hallways. If you’re going to switch clubs, leave your current club the right way. Cause you never know what’s going to happen in, I mean, you know, we left the club and two years later we’re back in the same place. Yeah. So, um, goes to NCFC and of course, you know, my biggest regret was that, you know, like I say, Dante was getting ready to go into the development academy.

[00:09:32] And so when they merged, you kind of get lost in the shuffle and. He’s put on like the fifth of 16, we have like 15 teams per age group. So he’s on like the fifth of 16. And of course, you know, I think he he’s placed wrong, but you know what, as a parent, you can’t really say anything because, and I understand that.

[00:09:58] I understand how there’s the coaches, because at a club this size, I’m sure that I’ve got 300 parents saying my kid in the wrong place. You know, I, I get it. So, you know, we, we just kinda went with the flow and um, I said, okay, well, we’ll give him a year to get it sorted out. Cause the first year was just no way too many kids still waiting in the kids, but you know, organize way too many kids, everybody was overwhelmed.

[00:10:29] So we start with it next year comes along and Dante gets an invitation to trout. The classic, what NCFC calls classic elite, which is basically now the ACNL regional league teams. I know this is probably confusing everybody, but,

[00:10:51] Matt: well, well, I’ll stop you there just for a second view for, because one of the things that I’ve seen on your, in your Facebook group and a lot of the other ones is there is confusion when it comes to leagues and which is better, and which is everything else.

[00:11:05] The one thing I want everybody to know is it changes every. Three to five years. It seems that we’re in this rotation of, of alphabet soup of who’s in charge of what league and everybody’s in the effort to build the better mouse trap and create the predominant national best com competition league. And it’s different on the boys side and the girls side.

[00:11:30] And that just keeps changing. And when you’ve got really three governing bodies in the mix with USOC, Us youth soccer and us club soccer. And you could probably throw in MLS in there, uh, because now the switch, um, it’s tough and there is no, you know, which is the best quote unquote, you’re going to get 10 different answers from 10 different people because they’ve had 10 different experiences.

[00:11:59] Um,

[00:12:00] Buford: um, it depends on where you are. Um, you know, I I’ve seen. You know, when we have our big showcase and, and teams come from all over the country, um, there are teams that, you know, play in, I guess, what they call select league or whatever, just, just a regular town club team that can beat the brakes off of the CNL team.

[00:12:27] Matt: Absolutely.

[00:12:28] Buford: And know it. And you know, there are places where a lot of kids. You know, there, there is no top league team in their area. So the top link team level kids are playing on, on that, on this team. And they can play with anybody in the country, you know, they just don’t have a name. So, you know, the, the, the league does the league itself.

[00:12:54] Doesn’t matter. It’s where you are in your local area. You, you, you have to look and see. Where where’s the best place for your kid is. And, and I tell a lot of parents, it’s not always necessarily that top league. I mean, if, if, if there are 20 kids on the team and your kid is number 19 to 20 on the top team and playing 10 minutes a game, they would be much better served playing on the next lower team.

[00:13:32] And playing, you know, 70 out of the 80 minutes or, you know, 70 out of 90 minutes and development, you can’t develop playing 10 minutes a game sitting on the bench. Well,

[00:13:46] Matt: and the other piece of that is at U 12 U 13 U 14. That, you know, you need to be developing and playing and, and, and yes, if you’re really good, you want to be playing with good players and against good players to help your development.

[00:14:03] But to your point, exactly, it’s not helping if you’re just in a car for eight hours to play for eight minutes. Um, so absolutely so, and I could tell you the alphabet soup of leagues. My club might call the top team premier, the second team elite, and the third team select, and your club might call it elite select premium, you know, that everybody has different naming conventions and, and, you know, I see it even on the Facebook group.

[00:14:32] So my, my team is a gold team. I w I don’t know what that means in Florida here for, for like my club. We don’t, you know, does that mean you play in gold level tournaments? Which means you’re the top, or I don’t, I don’t know what that means. So, Just don’t get caught up in all the terminology and the acronyms and all that kind of stuff.

[00:14:53] Uh, so yeah, so sorry for that aside, but I figured that it would be good to get it out. So, so, so you’re back to where you’re at. Your son’s now been invited to try out for basically ECL, ECL, regional league team level. We’ll call it that level. Yeah.

[00:15:09] Buford: At the time there at the time, there was no boards PCNL, but that that’s the level of our club players.

[00:15:17] Is that level team. So, um, but at our club is invitation only, which always drove me nuts because I believe that should be open trials. And that that’s just a personal, personal thing, but it always drove me nuts. It was invitation only, but he did get invited and they had two fields and I sat out there for four days and watched and there, you know, Although I, like I said, I’ve never played soccer, but by this time I’ve had seven, eight years in into the game and you got the field over here where all the coaches are looking and taking notes.

[00:16:02] And you got in the field over here where my son was. Where in medical coaches are looking and taking notes and, and every now and again, they’d call somebody from my son’s field to go to the other field. And, you know, no four days my son played out of his mind. I mean, but there was nobody watching. So needless to say, he didn’t make that level, which, you know, infuriated me.

[00:16:35] Here again, this is, this is a classic lesson about not always worrying about being old, this team, that team, whatever. So this is when he’s, he’s going into his freshman year. Um, trials were in may of his eighth grade year. So he’s going to start high school, the next office. Well, it turns out that the coach of his team that he did, that he did get assigned to.

[00:17:02] Is this high school coach for the next four years. So he gets a headstart there and, um, it was probably that year was probably his biggest jump in development out of his whole year. I mean, he just blossomed and grew and matured. And so. You know what started off as you know, we w we were mad and my son was upset that he didn’t make this team turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

[00:17:35] Um, so we go through that and, and, um, then the next year old spring of that year, good. This was at a big club. This is where, you know, a lot of kids can fall through the cracks and at a, at a big club. Like I say, I understand why coaches don’t like parents talking to them about, you know, where their son or daughter should be, whatever.

[00:18:04] But at a big club you have to advocate for your kid because they can fall through the cracks. But spring of that year, they’re playing a game and it is 35 degrees is sleeping sideways. I mean just nasty weather out there. And I’m standing up there. And after the, my son had to play a new position, he never played because somebody got hurt and, and his coach put him there, um, which was holding midfielder, which, and I thought he played great in, you know, he came up, feel sad.

[00:18:42] I played terrible. Well that afternoon we get a call and this, the development academy coaches. For his age group. Oh, for development academy coaches. And they said, how long has your son been playing for the club? And I say, well, since you ate, he was you 15 buddy, buddy. So, you know, six years. And he’s like, they were like, well, he needs me playing up.

[00:19:12] Cause he’s, you know, it’s obviously he can play at a higher level and. Yeah. I was saying to myself, no, I’m glad somebody else sees that. I’ve been trying to tell you guys that for three years, but, um, so they invited him to the scrimmage the next day he went to the scrimmage and did well, and then we didn’t hear from anybody.

[00:19:37] So I was like, well, I guess he fell through the cracks again. So we get the tryouts and they moved him up to the elite team, which is, which is at the time was the team right below to the development of Kat. So it’s a top team that you could play in the club without being in the academy. Yeah. Um, and so he played, he played there, so.

[00:20:07] You know, apparently the culture says something, but it’s a shame that it took them, seeing him at that game to finally get put where I thought it was somewhere near where he should have been, where he should have been. And of course, like I say, I don’t blame the club because. They just got way too many kids, you know, there there’s no, there’s no way kids can get him to reveal attention in the club with 15,000 kids.

[00:20:38] Matt: Well, and, and another point that I want to bring up to people is, and I’m not saying, cause I’ve never seen your son kick a ball. So I can’t make any, any judgment about your son. But the one thing I can say is as, as, as a former player and coach. Everybody develops at a different time. And it’s sometimes that, you know, the kid who is the best UAE.

[00:21:04] On the field by you, 14 can sometimes be terrible. It’s just because they didn’t get any better. Uh, they, they, they just peaked early and, and their development just didn’t happen. And they’d been trudging along and, and, and parents were like, you know, we’ll, we’ll see parents at a club. Oh man. But my kid she’s so good or he’s so good.

[00:21:25] And, and they’ve done this, this and this, and they’ll remember an under eight. And, and, but when you watch them at 1415, you can see. They’re not with their peers now. Um, but, and then the flip side of that is true. I am, and I’m a prime example. I, I was really small in high school, uh, and, and not as fast. And it got to my junior year and, and the coach comes up and we had now granted, when I was a junior, we had like 14 seniors on my high school team.

[00:21:54] So the coach says, Hey, look, you know, there’s 14 seniors. And we got a couple of really good juniors, like all state sophomores and stuff like. I really need you to play JV as a junior, which, you know, just stuck a knife in my heart. Like, oh my God, I’m not even good enough to make varsity as a junior. He’s like, but you’re going to come up for the tournament.

[00:22:13] We’ve got a bunch of people graduating, cause I need you next year. You’re good at, but just not, you know, because I was developing. And so sure enough, you know, I played JV my junior year. I played one season of varsity soccer in high school, and this is, you know, Five years ago and high school soccer meant a lot more than it does today, but, um, but I started four years of college soccer.

[00:22:36] So I mean, my 16 to 20 development was huge compared to my 12 to 16 development. Um, and so, you know, for anybody who, you know, is, is saying, I can’t do it, or I’m not good enough, what are people, people change? And it can change quick, especially in. You know, during puberty and

[00:23:00] Buford: growth and spoon. Got it. It, it changes.

[00:23:04] Um, I guess my, my son, when he was his next grade year, when he was a freshman, he was about five. 125 pounds, you know, he was real skinny. Um, he’s a senior now he’s 6 1, 1 90. So I mean, that’s, that’s a huge difference

[00:23:25] Matt: and it’s not only that, but it’s how you be. It’s not just your body, you know, obviously there’s growth there.

[00:23:32] How do I use this body now? How can I, can I still have a good touch on the ball? So my, my oldest daughter right now is 14 and she’s got a couple of girls on her team that have shot up and, and they fall down all the time and it’s because they just grow so fast. They, they’re not, they’re not grown into their bodies about

[00:23:52] Buford: 13 years, you know, he had a growth spurt and yup.

[00:23:57] Matt: So, so needless to say, I just wanted to make sure people understand that, you know, things are going to change year to year, even, especially in a big club. That’s when they, you know, yes. It’s hard sometimes for them to notice everybody and keep track of everybody. But sometimes seeing just that little change in a player, you know, that maybe I didn’t see last year that I see this.

[00:24:20] And that can be a physical growth. It can be a mental maturity growth. It can be just all of those things combined in a, in a game situation or practice situation or, or anything. And that can be the spark that drives them to the next level. So, so sorry. We’ll we’ll, we’ll continue back

[00:24:35] Buford: that. No, you’re quite right.

[00:24:36] And going in that same vein, um, I understand the club because if you move a kid down, Their parents are gonna done bolt. I mean, that’s just how it is. Um, I believe it was, it was you my sons, you 15 year or either you 16, you know, they. If you go to a boy’s game at about 14, you 14 you’re 15, it’s like a star wars block bar scene.

[00:25:13] You got six footers with beards. You got, you know, five foods that look like they’re 12. And I mean, it’s just all over the map. Yep. So, you know, they, they, the club got together and said, okay, you know, we need to shift because there are a lot of kids. Who were, you know, graded you, you nine and playing at this level.

[00:25:37] And sh shouldn’t have been, and there were kids who were at U nine, weren’t there, but now they’ve developed and shout up. And so they just basically scrambled everything. And, and in my opinion, put people more where they should be. Well, they probably lost 75 kids in our age group. Because 80 of them got moved down.

[00:26:04] So, you know, 95% of those parents bolted. So, you know, when we say that clubs should move kids up and down as parents, we have to be cognizant that it may be, my kid moves down and sometimes your kid needs to be moved down. You know, like I say, if, if, if they’re playing and they’re not getting. Play in time and they would be better off playing at a lower level.

[00:26:31] You’re doing them a disservice by keeping them on that, that higher level team.

[00:26:37] Matt: Well, and like I said, that, that’s what happened to me in high school playing 90 minutes of a JV game for a whole season made me better than sitting on the bench and not touching the field. Yeah, exactly.

[00:26:51] Yeah. So, um,

[00:26:54] Buford: then, um, We were about to go to back to trial for EML and, um, COVID hit. So it was just, you know, shut down the season. So we did have trouts that year. We had placements and, um, The, the coach who was coaching our age group east CNL happened to be the club doc and he just got to pick his team.

[00:27:26] So he picked my son’s backup over my son. So my Santi didn’t make it. And I, I, um, my, the, my son’s backup dad was a coach for the clubs. You know, there’s that, and he was the doc. So there’s really nothing, nothing, nothing I could say about it. Um, you know, couldn’t, couldn’t go any higher. Um, so you know, that, that really, I won’t say it is soured my son on soccer.

[00:28:03] It took away a little of his enthusiasm. Sure. So, um, that, that next year he played on the same team and um, then his senior year coming up well, he’s in the senior year now. He didn’t play for club. He just played for, played for a school and as hung up the cleats, unfortunately, but.

[00:28:30] Matt: So he’s so he’s, he stopped playing his, he’s not playing club, his senior year of high school.

[00:28:36] Correct. But he did play his junior year, but that was the kind of the COVID year.

[00:28:40] Buford: Uh, yeah, you play, play, play your junior year and I’m here at North Carolina boys played high school in the fall. So you play your senior year, this past fall, and then he, he, he just.

[00:29:03] Matt: So what is his, so he’s going to college in the fall. Yes. And where’s he going to attend? Does he, has he picked yet?

[00:29:12] Buford: Uh, no. Sunday is deadline day, but it is between, um, Howard university Hampton university and, um, Charlotte, you know,

[00:29:24] Matt: Okay. Now, is he planning on trying to play soccer at college or is he thinks he might be play club soccer club, which is great.

[00:29:32] I, so I was lucky enough. I played four years of division three soccer, but then went to grad school. And while I was in grad school, I played one year of. Uh, for a division one team, a club program and had a blast. Um, and, and, and I went school in DC about five miles down the road from Howard. So, uh, that, that, that, um, I’m a little biased.

[00:29:52] I think you’ll have a good time if he goes to Howard, but, um, actually. I I, well, I remember one time in college, I had, we had a morning practice using Howard’s turf field because of the weather. We needed a turf and they had it. So, um, that’s

[00:30:08] Buford: probably spot on. He actually made a pretty, pretty mature decision.

[00:30:11] Um, you know, he, he loves playing soccer, but you know, he, he realizes that. He’s not willing to, you know, get up in the morning and work out before class and, and all that. And so he, he just say, you know, I’ll play club soccer and, and have fun and enjoyed and, and go through my academics. So I thought that was a very mature decision.

[00:30:38] Matt: Absolutely. And, and it’s one of the things that, you know, w one of the reasons I even started this site, uh, is to, to let people know there’s a lot of different pathways. There’s a lot of. Endpoints to, it’s not all division one or bust, you know, play for a top 25 program. Cause there’s just not that many spots available.

[00:30:59] Uh, and, and, and it’s especially hard when you’re navigating a 15,000 person club and trying to get on the top team to try to get noticed by the coaches at North Carolina or NC state or Clemson or wherever it is you might want to go. But there are tons of options out there, whether they be division two, three, June, junior colleges and AI, anything like that.

[00:31:20] But one of the ones that we don’t ever really talk about is, is club soccer at, uh, at colleges. And for those who don’t know what that is, it is essentially, um, Travel soccer, but, but under the umbrella of the school, so there’s no scholarships. It’s usually, there’s usually a, um, a staff, uh, you know, a faculty advisor of the club, just like it would be the Spanish club or the chess club or anything else like that.

[00:31:49] It’s club soccer and there’s, you know, it’s very student run. Um, but you know, A year of club soccer at Ohio university and our games were always Saturday, Sunday, so you never missed class. Um, and we would play. All over the Midwest. We, we drove to Northwestern in Chicago and played Northwestern. Um, and university of Illinois, uh, we went to Ohio state, played Ohio state, Miami of Ohio.

[00:32:16] We went to Dayton and played Dayton and Xavier. And you know, so it’s almost like it’s the team of folks who have had that same kind of aha moment of look. Academics is the most important thing to me. But I love playing at a competitive level. Um, and, and let me tell ya, clubs soccer at a lot of colleges is very darn competitive.

[00:32:41] Um, cause they were like, we had a guy on our team who had played at a different division one program, but it transferred schools. Our school didn’t have men’s soccer. Uh, so, and. Realize he wanted to focus on academics, which is why he transferred. And he was kind of our club soccer, captain and leader. And then you had somebody like me, who was, I was the old guy, cause I was the grad student.

[00:33:03] But, uh, but it played at a division three level and guys had played it at really, really high levels and we had a blast doing it. We still practiced, uh, we played games. We had a full schedule. We got to travel. But, you know, we just didn’t miss the class and didn’t have the really hardcore scheduling requirements that, uh, that a full varsity team has even at the division two or three level.

[00:33:28] Um, you know, so, so that’s another pathway for people absolutely. To continue, continue their playing career. So, so I, I applaud your son for looking into that.

[00:33:38] Buford: And my daughter played club soccer. I mean, not clubs. My daughter played club rugby

[00:33:44] Matt: college, so.

[00:33:47] Buford: We went to a couple of her game so he can. No knows about that concept.

[00:33:52] Matt: Yeah. No, and I think that’s great. Um, well, Buford, I appreciate you telling the story and kind of the nav navigation. I think a lot of people are, are saying, oh, well, I thought this was going to be how all of a sudden he overcame and joined the da team and got that full ride to somewhere. And you know, it, it doesn’t always end that way.

[00:34:12] And I think a lot of people need their stand that they’re, they’re really. It’s it is a difficult process. There’s a lot of things to navigate whether it’s in, within your own club, more than within the recruiting process. And a lot of it though, hinges on. What’s important to you as a player or as a family, uh, as you’re making those decisions, you know, what schools are you looking at was the academic piece of it.

[00:34:37] What is the financial piece of it? You know, how do you want to spend your time and, and really sit back and think about it because there’s, there’s, you know, if you look at the transfer portal right now, um, there’s. Hundreds and hundreds of players who, who are looking to leave the school that they first picked because it didn’t work now, why didn’t it work?

[00:35:02] Well, there could be a hundred different reasons, but, but a lot of what, what, what I hear and what other coaches are telling me is kids, you know, just chased the one dream, right? The one thing and said, oh, this school may be gave me money. So I can say. Got a college soccer scholarship, but they didn’t like the school.

[00:35:21] They didn’t like the academics. Didn’t like the location. And maybe they were the 24th guy on the roster. Um, and didn’t see time. And so now they want to go to a different school where they might see Tom. And so you got to, it’s better if you can think about all those things. Ahead of time before you commit, uh, and, and really get, take a good hard look at what’s important to you.

[00:35:44] Uh, and, and I think, you know, there’s some other Facebook groups out there that are there for soccer, parents and recruiting and, and talk about. You know, the, the, the broken leg test, you know, if something happens, would you still want to stay there? And, and, and that’s a really important question to answer.

[00:36:02] So, so kudos to you. And I know Buford, you had, you’ve had a long multi-year journey through this, and if I’m not mistaken, you’ve even written about it, right?

[00:36:12] Buford: Yes. Um, I did write a book called the soccer parent lifestyle, a formula for raising healthy, happy and successful

[00:36:21] Matt: soccer player. Is that a, is that available on Amazon

[00:36:26] Buford: or?

[00:36:26] Well, it certainly is. And it’s also available at the soccer parent lifestyle that us,

[00:36:32] Matt: okay. Soccer, parent lifestyle.us. Well, I’ll put that, uh, in the, in the show notes as well. So if anybody wants to, uh, to check that out and, uh, before we conclude Buford, anything, anything more you want to add, or, or

[00:36:47] Buford: I just want to add one thing and kind of in on the upbeat, you know, I want to stress to two parents that your kid doesn’t have to be on the top team.

[00:36:59] They don’t have to play ECE and L they don’t have to be in the academy of whatever to get a college roster spot. Um, just two examples. Uh, three of my son’s former club teammates that played in the ECE and El regionally, the three didn’t. They, they, they, they weren’t starters on their team, but all three of them are playing next year in college.

[00:37:28] And also two of my son’s high school teammates that played with him this year. One has never played club soccer in his life. Always played his school soccer. He’s playing for D three school next year. And another gentleman who didn’t start on on my son’s high school chain is playing D three soccer next year.

[00:37:54] So if, if your kid, you know, identify as coaches works hard markets themselves and looks where for their right fit, there’s a place out there that can be. They don’t have to be ENL now, is it going to be at, at Clemson or Georgetown or Stanford? No. Right. But it’s going to be somewhere where they can get an education and, and further, further their dreams and become a productive member of society.

[00:38:26] So, absolutely it’s path is different focused on your kid’s path. Don’t compare them to others and just help them be the best. Player, they can be at the time and that will be okay.

[00:38:43] Matt: Are they having fun enjoying themselves and, and loving what they do because, uh, if not, then, then what are we doing it for? Right. Awesome. Well, Buford, I appreciate the time. Uh, wish your son the best of luck next year, making that decision this week. Um, you know, w we’ll we’ll, uh, hope he enjoys whichever decision he makes and thank you for sharing all the stories.

[00:39:08] Buford: Thank you for having me.